» Preacher makes a house call by Marc
The farmer was out working in his field, about a half mile from his house.
In the distance, he sees his six year old son running to him. When the son arrives, he tells his father that a preacher has showed up unannounced. The father asks his son whi
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» Water to Wine by Jaclyn
A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the minister's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
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» Last Request by Debora
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.
"Have you any last requests?" asked the Chaplain.
"Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"
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» 10 Things You Never Hear in Church by Jokes
- Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
- I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
- Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
- I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I
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» You Know You Need A New Lawyer When: by Caitlin Lynch
- The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.
- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
- He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
- He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-g
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» Cock frog by Reginald Brennan
There's that man, who has a cock 50 cm long. And he can't get fucked, cause' no lady can take it that sky-high. Well, he's desperate and the only way out seems the Ookaburra witch. Well, the man decides to seek help from the witch. Entering the dark cotta
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» A Redhead Joke by Roxanne Ochoa
A red head goes for a drive in the country and she has to stop as there is a farmer who is moving his sheep from one pasture to another across the road. She rolls down the window and says to the farmer, "If I can tell you the exact number of sheep that yo
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» The Lawyer at the Pearly Gates by Margie
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him w
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» Taxi Driver by Rosalinda
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the ca
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» Oh we're in the army now. by Ester Banks
The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to
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» Many uses for a Vibrator by Tyrone Levy
An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
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» Snail Humor by Eugenia Jordan
When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle.
Regaining consciousness in the emergency room, he was asked what caused the accident.
"I really can't remember," the snail replied.
"You see, it all happened so fast."
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» Old Log Inn by Cathryn
Several Thanksgivings back, we were sitting in a hot tub enjoying the afterglow of a win by ATM over UT. This was the last joke I heard before the women were run out so that the men could tell "real" jokes. It has been eight years and this jo
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» 3 funny car License Plates by Milton Ingram
Some great license plates seen over the years or heard about...
- IXLR8
On a nice looking Porsche
- LK 2 FK
Seen by myself - a blonde in a white Mercedes
- 3M TA3
A friend of a friend had this one
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» Ticking off Conservatives (patently offensive to all) by Chad
I have a friend who became tired of reading the "Don't blame me, I voted for Bush" bumperstickers. This was his response.
As many of you can attest, I don't feel my day is complete unless I offend as many ultra conservative politi
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» The Poopie List (shitty jokes) by Olive
- Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.
- Clean Poopie
The kind where you seen the poopie come out, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.
- The Wet Poopie
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» Bathroom Commode - BC by Carmela
My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant - especially in her language.
She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for reservations.
She wante
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» Two Brits. (adult) by Claude Gonzales
#1 Ropes or chains dear?
#2 Chains tonight!
#1 Leather or rubber?
#2 Rubber and spikes please.
#1 E, amyl, gange or billy?
#2 E and gange please.
#1 K.Y.jelly or Vaseline?
#2 K.Y. please.
#1 Condom?
#2 Naaaaaah!
#1
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» Short Borg jokes (Star Trek) by Esperanza Benjamin
(Your jokes are too funny. You will be assimilated. Your piece de resistance is useless.)
Two Borg walk into a bar. One Borg says to the other, "Did you hear about that city that was burned down in Argentina?"
The other Borg r
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» 3 Short Star Trek QA Jokes about Borg by Holly
Forwarded from another list. You may have to be a fan of the show to understand them. No offense to any Borg out there.
Q: How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Illumination is irrelevant.
Q. What does
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